Issue 02
Hollywood Boulevard Superheroes
By Shawna KenneyPhotos By James Knoblauch
Illustration By Ben Woodward
Marilyn Monroe waits for a table at the grand opening of Hooters Hollywood. Gandolph sips an iced latte next door at the Coffee Bean. And a ‘70s-era Elvis sits on a curb across the street, wiping his brow. Any of them will stop whatever they’re doing to pose for a picture with you if there’s a tip in it for them. It’s a good deal, really, considering the bus tours here mainly show former homes of long-deceased screen legends, the Hollywood sign is not lit up at night like it looks in movies, and Disneyland tickets are $50 a pop.
Millions trekking from the near and far ends of the earth to Los Angeles every year head straight to the heart of Hollywood, with vain hopes for a close encounter of the celebrity kind. And despite the mid-‘90s billion-dollar facelift of the “Entertainment District,” many are still shocked by Tinseltown’s lackluster facade, finding the Walk of Fame’s slabs of cement displaying imprints of Groucho Marx’s cigar, Betty Grable’s legs, John Wayne’s fist, and R2- D2’s feet a little disappointing. But have no fear: Entrepreneurial souls live here, so kids and grandmas can still go home with one-of-a-kind portraits of themselves with their favorite superhero or movie character. Never mind that some consider these street performers to be panhandlers, or that local businesses have described them as a nuisance. Hollywood superheroes fancy themselves as ambassadors of sorts. Most are aspiring actors using this day job as their “waiter hustle” (as one so eloquently puts it). There’s no boss to answer to, no schedule to keep. Who can blame them? Everyone who comes to Hollywood feels like they could really be somebody. In the meantime, it might just pay better to be somebody else.
Last job before this: portraying Captain America
Reason for quitting: didn’t make enough money
Other special skills: member of SAG and ASE-certified mechanic
Had sex in the costume?: No, but “working on that.”
How often he buys fake eyelashes: weekly
How long it takes to do the Cat makeup: 1 hour
Average workday: 8 hours
Worst experience on Boulevard: teenagers knocking the hat off
Best friends on the Boulevard: Batman, Superman, and Bugs Bunny
Last job before portraying Superman: Shark Fisherman
The costume: Tights - custom-made; belt is actual prop from Superman 3
Number of times Chris’s girlfriend Bonnie saw Superman movie before meeting him: 44
Where he and his girlfriend met for the first time: Re-release of Somewhere In Time, starring Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymour
Location of their first date: Metropolis, Illinois at a “Superman Celebration”
Hardest-earned tip: $30 for lifting a 300-pound woman at the request of her husband
Height: 6’6”
Previous experience: posing as Stormtrooper at Seattle Star Wars Society Convention
Previous career: civil engineering
Last acting job: an extra in The Italian Job
Costume: from a movie prop shop
Adjustments to costume: battery-powered fan inside of helmet
Peer praise: biggest money maker on the Boulevard